


The Wild and the Gentle Dogs

by luna_norvegese



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-19
Updated: 2009-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-04 15:30:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luna_norvegese/pseuds/luna_norvegese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus tries to move on, but he sees loneliness everywhere. Post HBP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wild and the Gentle Dogs

It's late autumn and Remus is freezing. It got cold surprisingly early this year. The frost came already in September and he thinks that maybe the weather gods have decided to let the weather match his mood. For Remus has been cold this whole year. And one should think that he is too old to care about such ridiculous bullshit as love is, but there are things he can't stop and Remus continues down the lonely road, freezing.

Harry has been having some troubles lately too. He kept his promise to himself not to go back to Hogwarts and it's obvious that he feels lonely. Hermione naturally refused to quit her education and Ron came up with some flimsy excuse about him needing to stay at Hogwarts to look after her. It's obvious to everyone, including Harry, that Hermione has got a hold on that boy. Ginny also returned to school, and Harry is still playing the hero. Maybe, Remus muses, maybe Harry should put his defences down for once. For even in war love should have a place. He almost cringes at those words, because people seem to misuse them so much these days. He doesn't mean that you should just throw two people together for the sake of love, he just means that when you are lucky enough to find someone who loves you and you love back you shouldn't let that go. Even if there is a war going on. James and Lily never stopped their love because of the war. Frank and Alice didn't. He and… No matter what.

***

He stops in front of the house in Spinner's End, knocks three times, pauses and then five more. He can hear someone inside, walking over old wooden floor.

"Who is it?" a low voice says from the other side of the door.

"It's me, Remus." He can hear a curse being muttered, and the door opens with a shriek.

Severus looks worse than he has ever done before. His ghostly, pale appearance has just increased and the haunted look in his eyes reminds Remus of someone else's eyes, but that's a long time ago now.

"Why are you here?"

"I came to pick up the Wolfsbane potion and…"

Severus turns and walks towards the kitchen. "Oh, yes, of course."

Remus follows through the door, but stops in the living room. It's a mess, papers and parchment and quills all over the table. The dust covers most of the books in the shelves and if the young Remus had been here he would have felt a need to clean away the dust, and he would have written things in it, messages, but he is older now, and he barely even notices the spider webs in the corners of the room.

He doesn't know exactly who in the Order that knows the true story concerning Dumbledore's death. If anyone else knows they have kept quiet about it, so that pretty much excludes Molly Weasley. A few days after Dumbledore died Remus received a letter from him. No, actually he found it placed on his kitchen table (how it got there he has no idea, but then again there are so many things about Dumbledore he doesn't understand), and it explained everything and Severus's role in it all. After that he has pretty much become the last contact Severus has with the Order. And of all the people in the world even Severus needs to talk to someone and maybe that is why he is almost acting friendly towards him these days. In desperate need of human contact other than the occasional Death Eater visits he receives, for although he killed Voldemort's biggest rival (except from Harry, of course) they have pretty much left him to himself. If he has to come up with reasons why they ignore him like that they could have been that Voldemort would rather have killed Dumbledore himself. The greatest wizard in the world, which Voldemort had never been able to defeat, was finally killed by someone not nearly as magically gifted as the Dark Lord. And he cannot return to Hogwarts of obvious reasons, so Severus is left to himself, a prisoner in his own home.

"Tea?" Severus has returned to the living room with a vial containing the potion. He gives it to Remus who puts it carefully into his pocket.

"Yes, why not." It's not that they have much to talk about, but right now silence is much appreciated. There are always people expecting things from him, and it's slowly driving him mad. Mad Eye has somewhat taken over as the leader of the Order, and he is always trying to send him off on these obscure missions, which are getting crazier every day. Molly wants him to get married and have lots of babies, preferably right away. Tonks wants what she can never have.

"Cream, no sugar?" Remus nods.

"Thank you," he says as a warm cup is placed among the clutter on the table in front of him. And they sit there in silence, only occasionally disturbed by the warm crackle from the fireplace.

***

After a few hours Remus walks away from Spinner's End, back to Grimmauld Place, where he now lives after Harry asked him to. It's easier to be two when having painfully good memories of times which can never return. Or just painful memories of things that are so horrible that he almost feels like they're not real. He does his best to avoid those memories.

From the kitchen he can hear Molly and Tonks talking and he carefully tries to avoid making any sounds when he climbs the staircase to the second floor. He's tired of making excuses, so he opts for avoidance instead. He peaks into Harry's bedroom where he finds him sleeping with a picture of Lily and James on the nightstand next to him. He seems to be sleeping peacefully, so hopefully Remus doesn't have to wake up to the sound of nightmares tonight as well. He silently closes the door and continues down the hall to the room where he now sleeps alone.

Tonight, like all other nights, Remus dreams. And in his dream there are no mistakes and there is no winter, only a dog and a wolf, finally free and together.

 

_And all the dogs go running free,  
The wild and the gentle dogs  
kenneled in me._   
**-Jericho, Joni Mitchell**


End file.
